4 Ways to Open Your Heart (and why it matters)

An open heart is the key to freedom and a purposeful, meaningful life. Having an open heart means you have the ability to take risks, allow yourself to be impacted, experience bliss and joy on a daily basis, an open heart is free and fearless. An open heart says “yes” with enthusiasm and “no” with kindness and care, is balanced, sees possibilities and contributes it's unique gifts with the world. An open heart takes responsibility, has faith, and actively participates in life.

A closed heart looks like this: prey to misery and depression, full of resentment, too much time on Facebook, mindless eating and too much sugar, fear of not being good enough, lack of intimate connection, frequent feelings of loneliness and unfulfilled dreams. Really tough right? That’s how I used to live. That’s why this is important to me. Why you’re important to me. It’s possible for you to love yourself and love your life. If I can do it, after years of fear and pain, so can you.  Here are my 4 steps to opening:

1. PRACTICE GRATITUDE. This is the game changer. This has been a daily practice for me every single day for the past 4 years. Right now take out a piece of paper and write 10 things you are grateful for, things you are in appreciation of. Ex. your ability to read this post. What you ate for breakfast. People in your life you love. Let it flow. Our heart softens when we focus on what we do have and I encourage all of my clients, and you, to make a list every single day.  There is always, always something to be grateful for.

2. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS. Yes, this is quite possibly one of the hardest things we may have to do. I can hear some of you right now “But HE HURT ME don’t you understand!?” I am not denying that you have been hurt, nor am I denying that there are some really horrible things that have happened in the world. But holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. We could change the world if all of us chose to forgive at least one person in our lives today. Our heart softens and opens when we forgive because we remember that we are all connected. That all of us once were perfect newborn babies who knew the truth, that we are love. Free yourself and your heart by forgiving at least one person today, maybe even start with yourself.

3. TELL THE TRUTH. The truth about what it is you are feeling, what you desire, what you long for, what’s truly happening in your life. When someone asks you “How are you?” You don’t say “FINE” if you’re not fine. Open your heart through the truth. You don’t need to share your truth with the world but you can start by looking at the people in your inner circle and asking yourself if they truly know everything about you. Do the people in your life know how you feel about them? Send a text to someone you love right now and just let them know that they are important to you. That's how we begin with the truth. Heart softens, heart opens. Get honest with yourself about where you're at in your life - is it time for a new job? End an unsatisfying relationship? You are so much braver than you think.

4. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. I know I may be asking a lot of you. But it’s because I love you. I believe in you. I know it’s sometimes hard. I know it’s sometimes painful. I also know that you can get through it. I am asking you to be braver than you have ever been.  I am asking you to stop numbing yourself with sugar and alcohol and Facebook and other mindless activities that don't contribute to your growing spirit. I am asking you to grieve, to accept your sadness and disappointments, to cry your eyes out. I am also asking you to laugh so hard your cheeks hurt, to love so deeply you feel like your heart is going to explode out of your chest, asking you to take risks and allow the emotions to be experienced and move through you. They will pass if you allow yourself to authentically feel them. Allow yourself to feel so you can listen to your heart. 

 “’Why do we have to listen to our hearts?’ the boy asked, ‘Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.’” – Paulo Coehlo, The Alchemist

If you need support in opening, in feeling your feelings, in trusting yourself and telling the truth, in forgiveness, well that is what I am here for. This is your life, are you who you want to be?